A nap on Elm Street leads you to a creepy boiler room,
Where a burned up child murderer escorts you to your doom,
With the style of a vaudevillian, your soul he will consume,
While spouting one-liners. [Freddy: Take your life, please! Ha ha ha!]
Gory gory Freddy Kreuger
Uses claws just like a cougar.
What a Nightmarish intruder,
Your fear is his power! [Freddy: You have nothing to fear but ME!]

If you go to camp at Crystal Lake on Friday the thirteenth,
And you're working as a counselor with a bunch of naughty teens,
Better know an able lifeguard, or you just might lose your spleens
To one mean Hockey Mom. [Mrs. Voorhees: I can see Russia from my house!]
Gory gory Jason Voorhees
Turning campers who are horny
Into chicken cacciatore.
Machete iron chef. [Iron Chef Host: Our secret ingredient: Corey Feldman!]

Now every Halloween the kids all go for trick or treats
Unless you're name's Laurie Strode, which is a role of Jamie Lee's.
Each October thirty-first's about your sibling rivalries,
With Shatner masks right on. [Kirk: KHAAAAAAAAN!]
Gory gory Michael Myers
Kill his sister he desires.
On call doctors he expires.
That's an extreme close-up. [Wayne & Garth: WHOA! Whoa! WHOA! Whoa!]

Young Andy on his birthday got his brand new favorite toy.
Was a cute red-head in overalls that was his pride and joy.
But the Lakeshore Strangler's voodoo meant he lived just to destroy.
A Cabbage Patch psycho. [Chucky: Who the frak is Martha Stewart?!]
Gory gory little Chucky.
With his bride, he did get lucky,
Had a kid so gay and plucky
who was Glen or Glenda. [Glen: I just want to sing! Chucky: No singing!]

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, was based upon Ed Gein
Who was really from Wisconsin, but they changed it for the screen.
Well they could have filmed the whole thing here, [Wisc.Guy: It woulda been peachy keen!]
[Wisc.Guys: Us Cheeseheads slice up good! Have a brat, eh? Pass da brew! Go Packers!]
Gory gory Leatherface.
Epidermis you replace.
Juggling chainsaws with such grace.
There's something wrong with this song... [T4P: Song. Bone?! We gotta work on that ending.]

I Know What You Did Last Summer. You hatched a little scheme,
At your Final Destination, at a Creepshow so extreme.
Yeah I Saw you being Hostel, it's enough to make me Scream
28 Days Later. [Luke: I'm so Troma-tized!]
Gory gory Scary Movie
Evil Dead try to remove me.
Here comes Ash, he's saying groo-oo-oo-oo-vyyyyyy!

[Ash: "Groovy."]

Bruce Campbell's mar-CHIN oooooooon!
[Freddy: Pinhead. Ha ha ha haaaa!]