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FRIENDS.DVDRIP.AC3.3 2CH.SEASON1 EP10.JOG LYRICS

[00:05.97]All right! You guys, it's starting to snow.
[00:08.99]
[00:09.80]And look, Ugly Naked Guy is hanging candy canes.
[00:14.00]
[00:14.21]Where?
[00:15.44]
[00:16.48]Oh. Well.
[00:19.14]
[00:19.35]That's festive.
[00:21.41]
[00:23.55]Guys, there's somebody I'd like you to meet.
[00:27.01]
[00:29.59]Wait, wait. What is that?
[00:31.32]
[00:31.53]-That's Marcel. Wanna say hi? -No, I don't.
[00:34.52]
[00:34.73]-He's cute! Where'd you get him? -My friend Bethel saved him from a lab.
[00:39.26]
[00:39.47]That is so cruel.
[00:40.83]
[00:41.04]Why would a parent name their child Bethel?
[00:44.27]
[00:47.44]That monkey's got a Ross on his ass.
[00:50.24]
[00:54.72]Is he gonna live with you in your apartment?
[00:57.62]
[00:57.89]Yeah. It's been kind of quiet since Carol left.
[01:00.91]
[01:01.29]Why not get a roommate?
[01:03.09]
[01:03.29]You reach a certain age, having a roommate is just kind of pathet
[01:08.42]
[01:11.10]That's " pathet. " Sanskrit for " really cool way to live. "
[01:15.40]
[01:16.91]The One With the Monkey
[01:19.00]
[02:04.95]I' m doing new material tonight.
[02:07.25]
[02:07.46]I have 1 2 songs about my mother's suicide and one about a snowman.
[02:12.09]
[02:14.23]You might wanna open with the snowman.
[02:16.93]
[02:18.13]-Hi, Joey. -Hey, buddy.
[02:20.40]
[02:20.60]-So how'd it go? -I didn't get the job.
[02:24.70]
[02:25.71]How could you not? You were Santa last year.
[02:28.64]
[02:29.71]Some fat guy's sleeping with the store manager.
[02:33.77]
[02:35.08]He's not even jolly. It's all political.
[02:37.92]
[02:38.15]-What are you gonna be? -One of his helpers.
[02:41.42]
[02:41.62]It's just such a slap in the face, you know?
[02:44.62]
[02:44.83]Do you know what you' re doing for New Year's?
[02:48.13]
[02:49.43]Hey, what? What is wrong with New Year's?
[02:52.16]
[02:52.37]You have Paolo. You don't have to face the pressure...
[02:56.63]
[02:56.87]...of finding lips to kiss when the ball drops!
[03:00.86]
[03:01.08]Man, I'm talking loud!
[03:02.80]
[03:04.38]Paolo's gonna be in Rome this New Year's.
[03:07.87]
[03:08.08]-I'll be just as pathetic as you. -Yeah, you wish.
[03:12.11]
[03:13.89]I've got an idea. Dinner.
[03:16.05]
[03:16.26]It's perfect. We'll put it between lunch and breakfast.
[03:20.13]
[03:21.80]I'm sick of being a victim of this Dick Clark holiday.
[03:25.56]
[03:25.77]I say this year, we make a pact. Just the six of us. Dinner.
[03:30.00]
[03:30.21]-Sure. -Fine.
[03:31.54]
[03:31.81]I was hoping for more enthusiasm.
[03:34.17]
[03:37.01]-Phoebe, you' re on. -Oh, good.
[03:39.48]
[03:39.71]Hi. Ladies and gentlemen, back by popular demand...
[03:43.45]
[03:43.65]... Miss Phoebe Buffay.
[03:45.85]
[03:49.29]Hi. Thanks. Hi.
[03:51.59]
[03:52.49]I wanna start with a song that means a lot to me.
[03:56.29]
[04:01.74]I made a man with eyes of coal
[04:04.80]
[04:05.07]And a smile so bewitching
[04:08.27]
[04:08.94]How was I supposed to know
[04:11.47]
[04:11.75]That my mom was dead in the kitchen?
[04:14.61]
[04:21.76]My mother's ashes
[04:24.09]
[04:24.59]Even her eyelashes
[04:27.53]
[04:27.86]Are resting in a little yellow jar
[04:33.86]
[04:36.40]And sometimes when it's freezing
[04:39.24]
[04:39.87]I feel a little sneezy
[04:42.21]
[04:42.91]And now I Excuse me? Excuse me? Yeah, noisy boys.
[04:47.54]
[04:49.22]Is it something you'd like to share with the group?
[04:52.98]
[04:54.12]No. No, that's okay.
[04:56.61]
[04:56.82]If it's important enough while I'm playing...
[04:59.76]
[04:59.96]...it's important enough for everyone else.
[05:03.16]
[05:03.36]That guy's going home with a note.
[05:06.03]
[05:11.57]-I was just saying -Speak up.
[05:13.80]
[05:14.01]Sorry, l
[05:15.13]
[05:16.18]I was saying you were the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen.
[05:20.58]
[05:20.78]And he said that Daryl Hannah...
[05:22.98]
[05:23.18]...was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen.
[05:26.52]
[05:26.72]I said I liked her in Splash, but not Wall Street.
[05:29.92]
[05:30.12]I thought she had a hard quality.
[05:33.12]
[05:34.16]While Daryl is beautiful in a conventional way...
[05:37.46]
[05:37.67]...you are luminous with a kind of delicate grace.
[05:41.23]
[05:43.81]Then that's when you started yelling.
[05:46.87]
[05:54.68]We're gonna take a short break.
[05:56.95]
[06:01.16]That guy's going home with more than a note.
[06:04.28]
[06:09.10]Come here, Marcel. Sit here.
[06:10.86]
[06:15.00]I can't believe he hasn't kissed you yet.
[06:17.97]
[06:18.17]By my sixth date with Paolo, he'd already named both my breasts.
[06:22.80]
[06:26.28]Did I just share too much?
[06:28.65]
[06:29.98]Just a smidge.
[06:31.78]
[06:32.49]David's, like, a scientist guy. He's very methodical.
[06:36.08]
[06:36.29]-I think it's romantic. -Me too!
[06:38.35]
[06:38.56]Did you ever see An Officer and a Gentleman?
[06:42.12]
[06:42.33]He's kind of like the guy I went to see that with.
[06:45.96]
[06:50.84]Except he's smarter and gentler and sweeter.
[06:55.04]
[06:55.64]I just wanna be with him all the time.
[06:58.48]
[06:58.75]You know, day and night. And night and day.
[07:02.11]
[07:02.32]And special occasions.
[07:04.98]
[07:07.22]I see. You're gonna ask him to New Year's.
[07:10.21]
[07:10.49]-She's gonna break the pact. -No! No, no.
[07:14.55]
[07:14.76]No. Yeah, could I just?
[07:16.89]
[07:19.67]-Yeah. I already asked Janice. -What?
[07:22.50]
[07:22.70]This was a pact! This was your pact!
[07:25.43]
[07:25.64]I couldn't handle the pressure. I snapped!
[07:28.27]
[07:28.48]But that was the worst breakup in history!
[07:31.50]
[07:31.71]I'm not saying it was a good idea. I snapped!
[07:35.15]
[07:36.48]Hi, sorry I'm late.
[07:39.21]
[07:47.86]Too many jokes.
[07:49.73]
[07:51.20]Must mock Joey.
[07:52.53]
[07:55.07]Nice shoes, huh?
[07:57.06]
[07:57.91]God, you're killing me!
[07:59.74]
[08:01.78]Ross, he's playing with my spatulas again!
[08:05.04]
[08:05.25]-He's not gonna hurt them, right? -Do you always have to bring him?
[08:09.98]
[08:11.29]I didn't wanna leave him alone. We had our first fight this morning.
[08:16.19]
[08:17.79]It has to do with my working late. I said some things that I didn't mean.
[08:23.06]
[08:24.87]He threw some feces.
[08:27.30]
[08:30.51]If you're working late, I can look in on him.
[08:33.53]
[08:33.74]That would be great!
[08:35.40]
[08:35.78]But make sure it seems like you're there to see him.
[08:39.54]
[08:39.75]You're not doing it for me.
[08:41.81]
[08:42.02]Okay. But if he asks, I'm not going to lie.
[08:45.04]
[08:51.59]But you can't actually test this theory.
[08:54.15]
[08:54.36]T oday's particle accelerators aren't powerful enough...
[08:58.46]
[08:58.77]-...to simulate these conditions. -I have a question then.
[09:03.00]
[09:03.20]-Yeah? -Do you plan on kissing me ever?
[09:05.87]
[09:09.91]That's definitely a valid question, and the answer...
[09:14.44]
[09:14.75]...would be yes. Yes, I was.
[09:18.34]
[09:22.89]But I wanted it to be this phenomenal kiss...
[09:26.09]
[09:26.29]...at a phenomenal moment because it's you.
[09:29.53]
[09:29.73]Sure.
[09:30.82]
[09:31.03]The longer I waited, the more phenomenal the kiss had to be.
[09:35.03]
[09:35.24]Now, it's just gotta be one of those things where l...
[09:39.26]
[09:39.57]...sweep everything off the table.
[09:42.60]
[09:42.81]And I'm not really a sweeping sort of fella.
[09:45.61]
[09:45.91]David, I think you are a sweeping sort of fella.
[09:49.94]
[09:50.15]I mean, you're a sweeper trapped inside a physicist's body.
[09:54.42]
[09:55.46]-Really? -I'm sure.
[09:56.92]
[09:57.16]You should just do it. Just throw me.
[10:00.06]
[10:03.46]-Now? -Yeah, right now. Just....
[10:05.76]
[10:05.97]Okay. Okay. Okay.
[10:07.87]
[10:10.74]You know what? This is really expensive.
[10:13.33]
[10:14.68]And this was a gift.
[10:16.64]
[10:17.78]-Now you' re just tidying up. -Okay.
[10:20.75]
[10:25.12]-You want me to throw you? -I can hop.
[10:28.11]
[10:44.51]T ell me something, what does " no-date pact" mean to you?
[10:48.57]
[10:48.78]It's just that Chandler and Phoebe have somebody.
[10:52.61]
[10:52.85]I thought I'd ask Fun Bobby.
[10:54.82]
[10:55.02]-Your ex-boyfriend? -Yeah.
[10:57.11]
[10:57.45]-You know more than one Fun Bobby? -I happen to know a Fun Bob.
[11:02.01]
[11:03.96]-Okay. Here we go. -There's no room for milk.
[11:08.45]
[11:13.87]There. Now there is.
[11:15.96]
[11:16.20]So on our no-date evening, three of you now have dates.
[11:20.61]
[11:21.08]-Four. -Five.
[11:23.44]
[11:24.28]Sorry. Paolo's catching an earlier flight.
[11:26.94]
[11:27.15]And I met this really hot single mom at the store.
[11:30.52]
[11:31.22]What's an elf to do?
[11:32.81]
[11:33.59]So I'll be the only one alone when the ball drops?
[11:37.92]
[11:38.19]We'll have a big party, and no one will know who's with who.
[11:42.39]
[11:42.60]I'll know. This is so not what I needed right now.
[11:46.53]
[11:46.73]-What's the matter? -Oh, it's Marcel.
[11:49.13]
[11:51.77]He's angry with me. I have no idea why. He keeps shutting me out.
[11:56.68]
[11:56.88]He's walking around all the time, dragging his hands.
[12:00.54]
[12:01.22]That's weird. I had a blast with him.
[12:04.28]
[12:04.49]-Really? -We played, watched TV.
[12:06.48]
[12:06.72]That juggling thing is amazing.
[12:09.21]
[12:12.19]What juggling thing?
[12:14.18]
[12:14.90]With the socks? I figured you taught him that.
[12:17.89]
[12:18.70]No.
[12:19.86]
[12:21.07]It wasn't that big a deal. Just socks. And a melon.
[12:25.16]
[12:29.31]-Phoebe! -Max. Do you know everybody?
[12:31.90]
[12:32.11]No. Have you seen David?
[12:34.67]
[12:35.28]He hasn't been around.
[12:36.81]
[12:37.02]If you see him, tell him to pack. We are going to Minsk.
[12:40.98]
[12:41.19]-Minsk? -Minsk. It's in Russia.
[12:43.75]
[12:44.79]I know where Minsk is.
[12:46.82]
[12:48.26]We got the grant. Three years, all expenses paid.
[12:52.16]
[12:52.37]And if you're gonna do Minsk, that's the way to go.
[12:55.80]
[12:56.70]-So when do you leave? -January 1 st.
[12:59.20]
[13:07.11]-Hello? -What? Hey. Hi.
[13:12.02]
[13:12.22]-What are you doing here? -Max told me about Minsk.
[13:15.81]
[13:16.02]Congratulations! This is so exciting!
[13:18.82]
[13:20.19]It'd be even more exciting if we were going.
[13:23.16]
[13:23.36]Oh, you're not going? Oh, why?
[13:26.06]
[13:27.23]T ell her. " I don't wanna go...
[13:29.26]
[13:29.47]...to work with Lipson, Yamaguchi and Flank.
[13:32.74]
[13:32.94]I wanna stay and make out with my girlfriend! "
[13:36.21]
[13:36.41]Okay, thank you, Max. Thank you.
[13:39.00]
[13:40.41]So you're really not going?
[13:42.38]
[13:42.58]I don't know what I'm gonna do. I just....
[13:45.71]
[13:45.92]How can I leave you? I just found you.
[13:48.62]
[13:48.82]Oh, David. But what are you gonna do?
[13:52.38]
[13:54.73]I don't know. You decide.
[13:57.06]
[13:57.26]-Don't do that. -But l' m asking you.
[14:00.10]
[14:00.30]-I can't make a decision. Just -Okay. Stay.
[14:03.93]
[14:06.24]-Stay. -Stay.
[14:07.71]
[14:15.68]Getting so good at that!
[14:18.08]
[14:19.39]It was Max's stuff.
[14:21.48]
[14:29.43]I love this artichoke thing.
[14:32.16]
[14:32.37]Don't tell me what's in it. The diet starts tomorrow.
[14:35.82]
[14:40.37]You remember Janice.
[14:42.67]
[14:43.74]Vividly.
[14:45.44]
[14:45.95]-How are you? -I am fantastic.
[14:49.68]
[14:49.88]Now.
[14:50.94]
[14:52.55]It's amazing. We've been back together for what...
[14:56.28]
[14:56.49]-...Iike 1 0 minutes, and -ls that all?
[14:59.32]
[15:00.63]It's like we were never apart.
[15:02.65]
[15:03.00]Of course, we were, but Forgive and forget.
[15:06.43]
[15:06.63]Well, forget.
[15:09.16]
[15:19.85]-Hi. -Hi, l' m Sandy.
[15:21.28]
[15:21.48]Sandy, hi. Come on in.
[15:23.71]
[15:33.83]-You brought your kids. -Yeah. That's okay, right?
[15:37.99]
[15:40.13]-Party! -That thing is not coming in here!
[15:44.43]
[15:44.64]This is how you greet guests?
[15:47.16]
[15:47.37]If I showed up with my new girlfriend, she wouldn't be welcome?
[15:52.04]
[15:52.58]Your new girlfriend wouldn't urinate on my coffee table.
[15:56.64]
[15:56.85]He was more embarrassed about that than anyone.
[16:00.18]
[16:02.06]And for him to have the courage to walk back in here...
[16:06.36]
[16:06.56]...Iike nothing happened
[16:08.19]
[16:09.13]All right. All right. Just keep him away from me.
[16:12.36]
[16:12.60]Thank you. Come on, Marcel.
[16:14.86]
[16:15.34]What do you say you and I mingle?
[16:17.77]
[16:18.94]All right, I'll catch up with you later.
[16:23.27]
[16:28.65]Oh, my gosh! Rachel, honey, are you okay?
[16:33.45]
[16:33.72]-Where's Paolo? -Rome. Jerk missed his flight.
[16:38.66]
[16:39.13]And then your face exploded?
[16:41.39]
[16:42.83]No.
[16:44.06]
[16:44.70]Okay. I was at the airport getting into a cab...
[16:48.50]
[16:48.74]...when this woman, this blond planet with a pocketbook...
[16:53.67]
[16:53.87]...starts yelling. Something about how it was her cab first.
[16:58.14]
[16:58.35]The next thing, she just starts pulling me out by my hair!
[17:02.44]
[17:02.65]And I was blowing my attack whistle thingy...
[17:05.55]
[17:05.75]...and three more cabs show up.
[17:08.31]
[17:08.52]So as I'm going to get into a cab, she tackles me!
[17:13.15]
[17:13.59]And I hit my head on the curb and cut my lip on my whistle.
[17:18.76]
[17:22.54]Everybody having fun at the party?
[17:24.87]
[17:26.94]-Are people eating my dip? -Yes.
[17:29.53]
[17:34.82]There.
[17:36.25]
[17:36.95]-That looks okay, right? -You went a bit wide on the lipstick.
[17:41.05]
[17:41.26]-Oh, I did? -Yeah.
[17:43.72]
[17:43.92]It's hard for me to tell. My eye's closing up.
[17:47.62]
[17:47.83]Let me get it for you.
[17:49.80]
[17:51.00]-Ow! -Okay.
[17:52.30]
[17:52.50]You know what? It looks fine.
[17:54.73]
[17:55.37]Okay, here we go.
[17:57.70]
[17:58.07]Screw Paolo, screw the psycho cab lady.
[18:02.10]
[18:02.31]It's New Year's Eve. Let's have a good time.
[18:05.24]
[18:05.45]-Okay, here we go. -Okay.
[18:07.11]
[18:07.31]All right, there you go. This way.
[18:10.28]
[18:11.49]Here you go.
[18:13.11]
[18:16.46]When I saw you at the store last week...
[18:18.98]
[18:19.66]...it was the first time I ever mentally undressed an elf.
[18:24.06]
[18:26.33]-Wow, that's dirty. -Yeah.
[18:30.36]
[18:34.01]Hey, kids.
[18:35.50]
[18:37.31]He doesn't have to spend the whole evening with me...
[18:40.77]
[18:41.01]... but at least check in.
[18:42.78]
[18:44.18]There you are!
[18:46.12]
[18:47.69]You got away from me.
[18:50.28]
[18:50.59]-But you found me. -Here, Ross, take our picture.
[18:54.65]
[18:54.86]Smile. You' re on Janice Camera.
[18:58.26]
[18:59.03]Kill me. Kill me now.
[19:00.80]
[19:05.81]Hi, l' m Rachel.
[19:08.54]
[19:08.74]So whose friend are you?
[19:11.18]
[19:14.65]Look at me, spilling everywhere.
[19:18.21]
[19:19.99]Everybody, it's Fun Bobby!
[19:21.78]
[19:25.13]Hey, sorry I'm late. But my grandfather...
[19:28.56]
[19:28.76]...died about two hours ago.
[19:30.59]
[19:30.80]But I couldn't get a flight out till tomorrow, so here I am.
[19:36.46]
[19:36.94]Hey, Fun Bobby! How's it going, man? Whoa! Who died?
[19:42.43]
[19:46.68]It's gonna be an open casket, you know?
[19:49.62]
[19:50.75]So at least I'll get to see him again.
[19:53.62]
[19:57.76]Bobby? Fun Bobby?
[20:00.96]
[20:02.00]Let me talk to you for just a sec.
[20:04.40]
[20:04.83]I recently lost a grandparent myself...
[20:07.36]
[20:07.57]...so I really know exactly how you feel.
[20:10.59]
[20:10.80]But you' re really bringing the party down.
[20:13.77]
[20:15.01]-l' m sorry. -Yeah, yeah, okay.
[20:17.31]
[20:18.65]There you go. There you go.
[20:20.67]
[20:21.92]I' m gonna blow this one up and write " Reunited " in glitter.
[20:26.82]
[20:27.02]All right, Janice, that's it!
[20:28.95]
[20:29.16]Janice. Janice.
[20:31.75]
[20:31.96]Hey, Janice, when I invited you, I didn't think it meant
[20:36.69]
[20:36.96]Oh, no!
[20:39.19]
[20:43.27]I' m sorry you misunderstood.
[20:45.67]
[20:46.04]You listen to me! You listen to me!
[20:48.27]
[20:48.51]One of these times, it's just gonna be your last chance with me!
[20:53.28]
[20:55.22]Will you give me the thing?
[20:57.15]
[21:00.85]-Hi, Max. -Yoko.
[21:03.25]
[21:08.36]I've decided to go to Minsk without you.
[21:11.63]
[21:12.67]-Wow. -lt won't be the same...
[21:15.46]
[21:16.30]... but it will still be Minsk. Happy New Year.
[21:19.97]
[21:21.58]-Are you all right? -Yeah, l' m fine. I' m fine.
[21:25.31]
[21:30.68]Come on.
[21:32.24]
[21:34.25]-You' re going to Minsk. -No, l' m not going to Minsk.
[21:38.52]
[21:38.73]You are so going to Minsk.
[21:40.39]
[21:40.66]You belong in Minsk. You can't stay here just for me.
[21:44.56]
[21:44.77]If I go, I have to break up with you.
[21:47.46]
[21:47.67]-And I can't break up with you. -Yes, you can.
[21:50.66]
[21:50.87]Just say, " Phoebe, I love you, but my work is my life.
[21:55.24]
[21:55.51]That's what I have to do. "
[21:57.17]
[21:57.41]And I say, "Your work? How can you say that? "
[22:01.11]
[22:02.42]Then you say, " I have no choice. Can't you understand that? "
[22:07.62]
[22:07.82]And I say, " No! No! I can't understand that! "
[22:11.88]
[22:12.09]-Ow. -Sorry.
[22:13.65]
[22:15.36]And then you put your arms around me.
[22:18.09]
[22:18.50]-Then you put your arms around me. -Oh, sorry.
[22:21.90]
[22:22.67]And then you tell me you love me and you'll never forget me.
[22:27.23]
[22:27.44]I'll never forget you.
[22:29.71]
[22:31.14]Then you say that you have to go...
[22:33.81]
[22:34.01]... because you don't wanna start the year with me if you can't finish it.
[22:38.82]
[22:45.19]I' m gonna miss you, you scientist guy.
[22:48.79]
[22:51.23]Hi, Dick Clark in Times Square.
[22:53.22]
[22:53.43]We're in a virtual snowstorm of confetti here in Times Square.
[22:58.27]
[22:58.54]It gets better every....
[23:00.23]
[23:00.51]Here you go, kids.
[23:02.60]
[23:02.81]And then the peacock bit me.
[23:05.64]
[23:06.45]Please kiss me at midnight!
[23:08.31]
[23:13.49]-You seen Sandy? -I don't know how to tell you this...
[23:16.95]
[23:17.19]... but she's in the bedroom getting it on with Max.
[23:21.42]
[23:21.63]Oh, I did know how to tell you.
[23:23.99]
[23:25.10]-Hey, everybody, the ball is dropping. -What?
[23:28.76]
[23:29.70]The ball is dropping!
[23:32.70]
[23:34.11]In 20 seconds, it'll be midnight.
[23:36.70]
[23:36.91]And the moment of joy is upon us.
[23:39.61]
[23:40.21]Looks like that no-date pact worked out.
[23:43.11]
[23:43.58]Everybody looks so happy. I hate that!
[23:46.05]
[23:46.25]Not everybody is happy. Hey, Bobby!
[23:48.55]
[23:48.79]four, three, two...
[23:51.45]
[23:51.66]...one! Happy New Year!
[23:54.49]
[23:56.50]I thought I'd throw this out. I' m no math whiz...
[23:59.83]
[24:00.03]... but I do believe there are three girls and three guys right here.
[24:05.10]
[24:06.31]I don't feel like kissing anyone tonight.
[24:09.07]
[24:09.34]-I can't kiss anyone. -So, I'm kissing everyone?
[24:13.14]
[24:13.88]No, you can't kiss Ross. That's your brother.
[24:17.11]
[24:17.32]So now everybody's getting kissed but me.
[24:19.91]
[24:20.12]Somebody kiss me.
[24:21.31]
[24:21.56]Somebody kiss me! It's midnight! Somebody kiss me!
[24:25.36]
[24:25.59]All right! All right!
[24:27.49]
[24:28.09]There!
[24:29.49]
[24:35.94]I wanted this to work so much.
[24:38.50]
[24:39.17]I'm still in there.
[24:40.90]
[24:41.14]Changing his diapers. Picking his fleas.
[24:44.17]
[24:44.78]But he's just phoning it in.
[24:47.18]
[24:48.95]It's hard that something you love so much doesn't love you back.
[24:54.15]
[24:54.35]I think that bitch cracked my tooth.
[24:57.45]