ERIK WEINER I GOOGLE MYSELF LYRICS

 
Yo
Yo turn me up on your computer speakers, man
Yeah

In this lonely world,
Love is hard to find,
I needed a lonely girl,
so I went online.

On Facebook,
This girl Brooke said she's an ace cook,
woulda putta in my date book
but couldn't tell how her face looked.

On Myspace,
I put up a picture of my face,
A girl in white lace
Offered me a massage at a Thai place.

On Friendster,
Tried to befriend a playmate named Kendra,
She said depends, sir,
you drive a Benz?, no I drive a Sentra.

On eHarmony,
Met Barbara Lee,
A Catholic girl from Carnegie,
She wanted prince charming,
see, not a Jew like me from "Jarmany."
So I went on J-date,
Met a Jew named Kate from A.State
When I told her my pay rate,
She said hey wait,
And canceled our play date.

On Youtube,
I watched this cute girl Suze who had huge boobs,
I used lube until I noticed she was a huge dude.

Couldn't find a girl to bone, and these sites were no help
So I sit alone at home and I Google myself.

Yeah you know it's true,
I'm not ashamed to say, but I Google myself, like everyday.
I don't need anybody else, when I think about me I Google myself.

On Match,
There was whole batch,
Of undiscovered snatch,
Only catch was some had a moustache
And one had an eye-patch.

On Yahoo,
Met a girl named Apu
Who worked at Wamu,
Wanted me to take it up the wazoo,
With a strap-on, I said nah, boo.

On Craigslist,
I said this dude needs a chick to get in bed with,
Then I met this out of her head bitch,
Who had dreads which smelled like dead fish.

On AdultFriendFinder,
Met a girl named Dinah from China,
She was wearing so much make-up
She had eyeliner on her vagina.

On e-Bay,
I sold the rights to give me a B.J.,
In three days a D.J. named C.J. bought it, and, oh yeah, he's gay.

Put myself on wikipedia,
But my ex, this chick Amelia,
Changed it to say my dick was teeny and I was sick with hemophilia.

I was pretty irked,
Felt like a self-pitied jerk
And shitty flirt,
Looked for a strip club on Citysearch
And typed in titty church, didn't work.
Why can't I find no one else?, so I'll just use my right hand,
And I'll Google myself.

Yeah you know it's true
I'm not ashamed to say but I Google myself, like everyday.
I don't need anybody else, when I think about me I Google myself.

Yo, I'm not done yet, wait!
You can still help me get a date.
Throw this up on FunnyorDie,
Help this dunny score pie.
Throw this up on Metacafe,
So I can get the mad play.
Put it up on Break dot com,
So I can date hot moms.
If you're a girl with big tits,
Then please digg this.
Ass I need to get it,
So spread it on Reddit.
Help me get the bitches,
Man, put this on Delicious.
What the hell,
Throw it up on AOL.
Maybe I can score a lez,
If you put me on Perez.

Put me on your profile.
Make a girl go wild.

Famous last nerds dot com mothafucka.