FRANK ZAPPA DINAH-MOE HUMM (BISMARCK THEATER 1984) LYRICS

 
Bismarck Theater, Chicago, Illinois
November 23, 1984, last show
(including last section of previous track)
except end from:
The Pier, NYC
August 26, 1984

FZ--lead guitar/vocal
Ike Willis--guitar/vocal
Ray White--guitar/vocal
Bobby Martin--keyboards/sax/vocal
Alan Zavod--keyboards
Scott Thunes--bass
Chad Wackerman--drums

Couldn't say where she's coming' from,
But I just met a lady Dinah-Moe Humm

Strolled on over, said look here, bum,
I got a forty-dollar bill says you can't make me cum
(No way, y'jes can't do it)

She made a bet with her sister who's a little bit dumb
She could prove it any time all men was scum
(I say scum!)

I don't mind if she called me a bum,
But I knew right away she was really gonna cum
(So I got down to it)

I whipped off her bloomers 'n stiffened my thumb
An' applied rotation to her sugar plum

I poked 'n stroked till my wrist got numb
Still didn't hear no Dinah-Moe Humm,
Dinah-Moe Humm

Dinah-Moe Humm
Dinah-Moe Humm
Where's this Dinah-Moe
Comin' from
I done spent three hours
An' I ain't got a crumb
From the Dinah-Moe, Dinah-Moe, Dinah-Moe
From the Dinah-Moe Humm

Got a spot that gets me hot
An' you ain't been to it (tell!)
Got a spot that gets me hot
An' you ain't been to it
I got a spot that gets me hot
You ain't been to it
I got a spot that gets me hot
You ain't been to it
'Cause I can't get into it
Unless I get out of it
(It dices, it slices)
An' I gotta get out of it
Before I get into it
(It purées, it frappés)
'Cause I can't get into it
Unless I get out of it
(It blends and malemutes)
An' I gotta get out of it
Before I get into it
(But that's not all)

(She looked over at me with a glazed eye
And some bovine perspiration on her upper lip area
And she said . . . and here's what she said . . . )
(What'd she say?)

Just get me wasted
An' you're half-way there
'Cause if my mind's tore up,
Well, then my body don't care

I rubbed my chinny-chin-chin
An' said my-my-my
What sort of thing
Might this lady get high upon?

The forty-dollar bill didn't matter no more
When her sister got nekkid an' laid on the floor
She said Dinah-Moe might win the bet
But she could use a little (NAVY) Prince if I wasn't done yet

I told her . . .
Just because the sun
Want a place in the sky
No reason to assume
I wouldn't give her a try

So I pulled on her hair
Got her legs in the air
An' asked her if she had any cooties in there

(Whaddya mean cooties! No cooties on me!)

She was buns-up kneelin'
BUNS UP!
I was wheelin' an dealin'
WHEELIN' AN' DEALIN' AN' OOOOH!
She surrendered to the feelin'
SHE SWEETLY SURRENDERED
Started in to squealin'

Dinah-Moe watched from the edge of the bed
With her lips just twitchin' an' her face gone red
Some drool rollin' down
From the edge of her chin
While she spied the condition
Her sister was in
She quivered 'n quaked
She clutched all over herself
Her sister made a joke
About her mental health
Until Dinah-Moe finally
Did give in
But I told her
All she really needed
Was some discipline, I said . . .

Kiss my aura . . . Dora . . .
That's right . . . because it's real angora
Would y'all like some more-a?
Right here on the flora?
An' how 'bout you, Fauna?
Do you wanna?