WEIRD AL YANKOVIC CONSTIPATED (AVRIL LAVIGNE) LYRICS
Uh huh, extra cheese.
Uh huh, uh huh, save a piece for me.
Pizza party at your house,
I went just to check it out.
19 extra larges,
What a shame, no one came.
Just us, eatin' all alone,
You said take the pizza home.
No sense lettin' all this go to waste,
So then I faced
Pizza all day, and everyday, there's cheese round the clock,
It's gettin' me blocked, And I sure don't care, for
Why'd you have to go and make me so constipated?
Cos' right now I'd do anything to just get my bowels evacuated,
In the bathroom.
I sit and I wait and I strain and I sweat and I clench and I
feel the pain
Oh, should've taken laxatives or had my colon irrigated.
No, no, no.
I was feelin' pretty down,
'Til my girlfriend came around.
We're just so alike in every way, I gotta say.
In fact, I just thought I might,
pop the question there that night.
I was kissing her so tenderly,
But woe is me.
Who would have guessed, her family crest.
I suddenly spy, tattoo'd on her thigh.
And son of a gun, it's just like the one on me.
How was I supposed to know we were both related?
Believe me, if I knew she was my cousin we never would have
What to do now?
Should I go ahead and propose and get hitched and have kids with
And move to Alabama where that kind of thing is tolerated.
No, no, no.
(no no no)
Ooh, I had so much on my mind,
I thought maybe I'd unwind.
Try out that new roller coaster ride,
And the guide...
Said not to stand, but that's a demand,
That I couldn't meet, I got on my feet,
And stood up instead and knocked off my head you see.
Why'd I have to go and get myself decapitated?
This really is a major inconvenience, oh man I really hate it.
It's such a drag now.
I can't eat, I can't breathe, I can't snore, I can't belch or
Can't spit or blow my nose or even read Sports Illustrated.
Why'd I have to go and get myself all mutilated?
I gotta tell ya, life without a head kinda makes me irritated.
What a bummer.
I can't blink, I can't cough, I can't sneeze.
But my neck is enjoying a pleasant breeze now.
Haven't been the same since my head and I were separated.
No, no, no.
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